excerpt:

“We’ve seen the impact that fathers make on a child’s life. In the past, it had been the idea that the father is the breadwinner, and the mother stayed home and took care of the kids. That thinking has changed,” said Larry L. Klinger, who oversees family and community programs for the intermediate unit. “Changing a thought process is one barrier.”

Institutions such as courts and schools have been slow to adjust and still often treat fathers as second-class citizens, dads and advocates say. That can be a decimating experience, both financially and mentally, said Thomas Tessaro of Franklin Park, a board member with the Pittsburgh chapter of the National Congress for Fathers and Children.

He frequently gets calls from fathers desperate for help, he said. Divorce lawyers often push ex-wives to pursue unnecessary protection-from-abuse orders just for leverage in custody battles, and decades of stereotyping often lead people to be unfairly leery of fathers, he said.

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/today/s_599223.html

FREE WEBINAR: THE IMPACT OF DIVORCE ON KIDS
Wed, Oct 22,12:30-2pm EDT

Host: the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center (NHMRC)

Presenters: Paul Amato and Robin Deutsch on the latest research on how divorce is affecting child well-being, including academic achievement, social functioning, and mental health status. The webinar will provide information on the differing outcomes of divorce on children coming from low-conflict and high-conflict homes and discuss what parents and marriage educators can do to help reduce the negative impacts. The webinar is open to anyone interested in learning more about the topic.

A Webinar is a seminar presentation that allows you to simultaneously listen to (on the phone) and watch the presentations (on your computer).

Joining the webinar is a two step process - first link on via your computer and then call in to listen on your phone.

1. Use this link to log on:
https://www.livemeeting.com/cc/gc_min_pro_usa/join?id=NHMRC&role=attend&pw=nhmrc01

2. After you have signed on on your computer, call: 800- 747-0365. An operator will ask you a few questions and then add you to the conference call.

It is recommended that you sign on 10-15 minutes in advance of the Webinar.

To listen ONLY: Skip the computer log-in and simply dial: 1-800-747-0365
An operator will ask you a few questions and connect you to the call.

The complete, combined audio/video recording and all presentation materials will also be posted on the NHMRC website, 7-9 days after the Webinar at http://www.healthymarriageinfo.org

If you have questions, contact Stephanie Wofford at info@healthymarriageinfo.org.

http://www.ekathimerini.com/4dcgi/_w_articles_politics_100008_01/10/2008_100943

A new draft bill, to be submitted in Parliament this week, foresees a swifter process for issuing divorces, provisions to promote the joint custody of children when a couple divorces and the simplification of the state adoption system.

The brainchild of Justice Minister Sotiris Hatzigakis, the bill also proposes a controversial cohabitation provision that would grant heterosexual couples living together the same rights as married couples.

If the bill is approved, married couples who file for divorce will have to wait only two years for the decision to be made final, compared to four years now.

Another significant aspect of the bill is geared toward protecting the children of couples seeking divorce by proposing that custody of the children be shared by the two parents, unless a court deems that there is “significant reason” for just one parent to assume responsibility. The bill contains a long list of possible reasons for such an arrangement, including the indifference of one parent, displayed through their failure to see the child regularly or live up to their financial responsibilities, and attempts by one parent to stop the other from seeing the child.

The same bill also seeks to facilitate those trying to adopt a child through the state system, a notoriously complex process that can take up to six years. The bill contains provisions aimed at reducing to a minimum each child’s stay at adoption homes.

Finally the reforms would give the rubber stamp to a proposed cohabitation law. The law would allow unmarried couples to acquire all the tax, insurance and social benefits currently enjoyed only by married couples simply by signing a standard notary contract.

WASHINGTON, September 25, 2008 – Domestic Violence Awareness Month begins on Wednesday, October 1. That day a group of scholars, policy experts, and victim advocates will convene in Washington DC to assess whether the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), first passed in 1994, has met expectations that the law would curb intimate partner abuse.

Meeting at The Heritage Foundation, Phyllis Schlafly, Robert Rector, Elaine Donnelly, Stephen Baskerville, and others will present on a range of topics, including the impact of domestic violence policies on marriage, children, military readiness, and African-American communities.

The theme of the conference is “The Conflict between Federal Domestic Violence Policies and Traditional Family Values.”

Many believe federal domestic violence policies have fallen short. According to Angela Moore Parmley, PhD, of the Department of Justice, “We have no evidence to date that VAWA has led to a decrease in the overall levels of violence against women.”

Others believe domestic violence laws have given rise to false allegations of abuse and weakened families. Two weeks ago Wendy Flanders of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, was convicted of making 40 false claims of domestic violence and committing perjury.

The invitational meeting is co-sponsored by the Eagle Forum and RADAR Services. To attend, persons are invited to register at barbara@mediaradar.org. The conference schedule can be seen at: http://www.mediaradar.org/docs/RADARconf-2008-10-01.pdf.

This year the theme of Domestic Violence Awareness Month is “False Claims Hurt True Victims.” More information on the effects of VAWA can be found at http://www.mediaradar.org.

R.A.D.A.R. – Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting – is a non-profit, non-partisan organization of men and women working to improve the effectiveness of our nation’s approach to solving domestic violence. http://www.mediaradar.org.

From Dr. Gary Chapman:

‘Many couples love each other but don’t know how to
connect. Sacrificing for one’s spouse is important. When it (a service for
your spouse) doesn’t come naturally, it’s actually a greater expression of
love. We must learn to speak one another’s love language.’

From Dr. John Gray:

‘Men talk to solve problems; Women talk to express
feelings.’

From Dennis Stoicas: (Director California Healthy Marriage Initiative)

‘Marriage matters to children. Divorce is hard on kids and it is a serious
national problem.’

From Michelle Weiner-Davis: (Founder, Divorce Buster Programs)

Real giving means giving what your spouse wants no matter if you don’t understand it: it’s mutual caring.

Dr. Sue Johnson: (Sociologist and author):

Without empathy and secure connection, there can be no real love. All humans need nurturing, soothing and protection. Key moment which defines forgiveness: when the injured party looks into the eyes of the offender and sees that their pains matters. They have to see it in their faces.

Dr. Steven Stosny: (Author and founder of Compassionworks.Com)

You can turn your resentful, angry or emotionally abusive relationship into a compassionate, loving one. The urge to improve, appreciate, connect or protect are the motivations of our core values. The experience of value gives you meaning and purpose. Crime goes up when the sense of community goes down. People feel disconnected.

Many of these thoughts are reminiscent of the teachings of an ancient Vedic wise man, Rupa Goswami. In his treatise on Devotional Service, Goswami delineates 6 Kinds of Loving Exchanges which keep healthy connections between people:

1. Giving gifts in charity

2. Accepting gifts with appreciation

3. Offering food prepared with love and devotion

4. Accepting such food with grace and care

5. Revealing one’s mind confidentially

6. Respecting and honoring such confidential sharing.

Over 125 workshops and 16 keynotes were presented at the conference,
covering a wide spectrum of marriage, family, fatherhood and healthy
relationship topics. Next year’s 2009 SmartMarriages Conference will take
place in Orlando, Florida, July 6-12, 2009.