From Dr. Gary Chapman:

‘Many couples love each other but don’t know how to
connect. Sacrificing for one’s spouse is important. When it (a service for
your spouse) doesn’t come naturally, it’s actually a greater expression of
love. We must learn to speak one another’s love language.’

From Dr. John Gray:

‘Men talk to solve problems; Women talk to express
feelings.’

From Dennis Stoicas: (Director California Healthy Marriage Initiative)

‘Marriage matters to children. Divorce is hard on kids and it is a serious
national problem.’

From Michelle Weiner-Davis: (Founder, Divorce Buster Programs)

Real giving means giving what your spouse wants no matter if you don’t understand it: it’s mutual caring.

Dr. Sue Johnson: (Sociologist and author):

Without empathy and secure connection, there can be no real love. All humans need nurturing, soothing and protection. Key moment which defines forgiveness: when the injured party looks into the eyes of the offender and sees that their pains matters. They have to see it in their faces.

Dr. Steven Stosny: (Author and founder of Compassionworks.Com)

You can turn your resentful, angry or emotionally abusive relationship into a compassionate, loving one. The urge to improve, appreciate, connect or protect are the motivations of our core values. The experience of value gives you meaning and purpose. Crime goes up when the sense of community goes down. People feel disconnected.

Many of these thoughts are reminiscent of the teachings of an ancient Vedic wise man, Rupa Goswami. In his treatise on Devotional Service, Goswami delineates 6 Kinds of Loving Exchanges which keep healthy connections between people:

1. Giving gifts in charity

2. Accepting gifts with appreciation

3. Offering food prepared with love and devotion

4. Accepting such food with grace and care

5. Revealing one’s mind confidentially

6. Respecting and honoring such confidential sharing.

Over 125 workshops and 16 keynotes were presented at the conference,
covering a wide spectrum of marriage, family, fatherhood and healthy
relationship topics. Next year’s 2009 SmartMarriages Conference will take
place in Orlando, Florida, July 6-12, 2009.